(Spoiler: This Is a Dumb Question)
If humans had taglines, mine would be:
“Probably overthinking this.”
But also:
“Binge-watching sanctification since 1992.”
Or maybe:
“Running on coffee, grace, and unresolved theological questions.”
Honestly, pick any of the above and slap it under my name like a Netflix bio. Because that’s what we’re doing here, right? Pretending our multidimensional souls can be boiled down to the kind of slogan you’d find on a tote bag or a Trader Joe’s greeting card?
Let’s get one thing straight: taglines are great for sitcom characters, soda brands, and Batman villains. But for humans? Real, complex, sin-riddled, occasionally-saintly humans made in the image of God? That’s asking a bit much.
Taglines are tidy.
Humans are messy.
Taglines are marketing.
Humans are mystery.
A tagline wants you to sum up your entire existence in a bite-sized phrase like:
“Just do it.”
“Taste the rainbow.”
“Live. Laugh. Love.”
Which is cute… until you realize that most of your life is spent doing none of the above and instead Googling things like “how to clean mold out of a Keurig” or “am I the drama?”
We are too wild, too contradictory, and far too embarrassing to fit into one clean sentence. Today I might be “loudly introverted, aggressively passive, and enthusiastically exhausted.” Tomorrow? “One more crisis away from a monkhood application.”
And yet—deep down—we crave that clarity, don’t we? A little neon sign that says, “THIS is who I am.” Something that spares us the trouble of introspection, confession, therapy, journaling, or (heaven forbid) humility.
But here’s the kicker: You don’t need a tagline. You need a testimony.
Something real. Something that doesn’t reduce you, but redeems you. Not “Catchy and marketable,” but “Saved and sanctified.”
As the Apostle Paul said in 2 Corinthians 3:2:
“You yourselves are our letter, written on our hearts, known and read by everyone.”
You’re not a slogan.
You’re not a status update.
You’re a living, breathing, embarrassing, beloved letter from God.
And that’s far better than any tagline I could come up with.
Although if I had to choose one, maybe I’ll go with:
“Gracefully clumsy in the presence of Jesus.”
Or
“Ask me about my existential dread!”
(Written in Comic Sans.)
Footnote for the Overthinkers:
- No, this post wasn’t directed specifically at you, but if you’re feeling called out, maybe the Holy Spirit is doing something.
- Yes, your Enneagram number, Hogwarts House, and MBTI type are also too simplistic.
- God knows you deeper than you know yourself (Jeremiah 1:5) – and He still wants you around. Imagine that.
Now you: If humans had taglines, what would yours be? Drop it in the comments—but remember: we’re aiming for ironic self-awareness, not actual identity.
R-Rated Religion 